‘Dear self, please be strong’

With every passing minute

A piece of my heart dies

The tears never dry

I feel empty inside

Strange how what lit up my world now fills it with darkness

I became a fool

A sucker for you

Gave you all the love within my ribs

Should’ve been more careful

Was too scared to let you in

To share too much too soon

And I was right

Because you didn’t last that long

And I’m so mad

Mad at you

Mad at how much you hurt me

You were so perfect

Then you stopped wanting me and you changed

But I still searched for the old you in this new you

I still tried to bring that other one back

But every time I tried

You left my heart with another scar

Until I was too tired to fight anymore

Yet every passing minute

With me holding on

Not calling you to hear your voice

When I know you do not want to hear mine

Is a fight of itself

I’m so over this darkness

Yet I cannot escape it

I can’t ask happiness to come back into my life

You left and took it with you

And I guess it feels betrayed because I couldn’t hold on to it

No matter how hard I tried I just couldn’t

And now it refuses to come back

Not even with you in her hand

I try to talk her into letting joy fill me up again

I even try to manipulate her

But nothing works

Because at those dark hours

at 4am

I cry and cry and cry

But the tears never seem to dry

I call for your name but I hear no response

I call for the light but the darkness doesn’t let go

I beg god to heal my soul

But I already felt my soul being taken away from me

And my heart was half dead half alive

The scars on it combined

To form the darkness that surrounds me

And it’s thrown inside me

And at this point

Nothing but my faith can save me

Because although I am breaking

I believe that I am a flower in the making

I just gotta hold on, hold on, hold on

I repeat to myself

I look in the mirror and I beg the person staring back at me with tears in her eyes

Please hold on

Please

Please be strong.


Hola loves! First of all today is my two year blogiversary!! I thought it was two days ago but turns out it’s today! So in honour of this I was thinking of doing a Q&A? Comment down below some questions and if I get enough of them I’ll do it. Thank you all so much for sticking with me, whether you’ve been here from the start of just found my blog thank you. Thank you for the support and love I’m extremely grateful! ❤️ Also I don’t think I’ll be writing lifestyle posts that much anymore, I’ve just fallen out of it. But who knows maybe I’ll change my mind! Now about today’s piece; I was so scared of posting it and I wasn’t gonna do it but it might help someone feel less lonely so I’m posting it! 🙂 Have a great day everyone. ❤️

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